Rain Check

Screenplay · Neo-noir thriller · by Gary DePew · 77 episodes

A washed-up Dodgers pitcher takes a quick job as a stranger's bodyguard and ends up in bed with the man's wife, then learns the whole thing was a murder scheme that has him as the fall guy.

Score 62.5First three episodes 46

The deal

No money up front and no negotiation. The writer is paid only from your share of what the series earns.

Exclusive (only you make it): not offered
Non-exclusive (other creators may make it too): 5% of the creator's share

Exclusive: one creator gets the story to themselves. It comes off the shelf, and no other creator can make it.
Non-exclusive: the story stays on the shelf, and several creators can each make their own version of it at the same time. Every version keeps the story's title with its creator's credit line under it, and the writer is paid from each one.

Review and score

62.5 out of 100 · Consider · first three episodes 46

A washed-up ballplayer is hired as a bodyguard by a stranger who dies in an explosion, then falls for the dead man's wife, and finds himself framed for a murder plot whose sisters and blackmailer are all working an angle.

Area	Weight	Whole story	First three episodes
Premise	10	6	4
Structure	15	7	5
Character	15	5	6
Stakes	15	7	3
Dialogue	10	6	6
Pacing	10	7	5
Episodic fit	15	6	4
Audience pull	10	6	4

Strength: The plot is a well-oiled noir machine, with a fake-death reveal, a stunt man impersonator, and a late double-cross by the sister that reframes the whole story and pays off cleanly.

Weakness: Boone is more reactive than driven, a lucky bystander pushed from scene to scene by Vivian, Rourke and Tess, and the heavy genre borrowing and leaning on coincidence (Rourke popping up everywhere) make the premise feel familiar.

How it splits into episodes: The material cuts naturally into short episodes at each reversal (the explosion, the husband alive, the car chase, the boat, Vivian with Kessler), but the stated opening three end on a mild beat with Rourke smelling money rather than a true cliffhanger.

First three episodes: The opening three set up a likable, sad-sack lead with some wit, but they stay in a bus station skirmish with a pimp and a stolen duffel bag, never reach the real story, and close on a mean security chief's greedy stare instead of a hard cliffhanger.